Sadness or Happiness? Emotions and Feelings are fleeting-Part 1

For me, its always a failure of the imagination. I have that anxiety that time is passing, that everything is ultimately fleeting and impermanent. I better take advantage of every single moment. ~Jason Silva

My final full day in the Baja!

What a magical trip this has been. As I reflect on experiences and feelings of the last 2 and half weeks I ask myself “What makes this magical?”

I can come up with many “reasons” for the feelings of magical and sadness and my final days here in Mexico.

I also know that I create a lot of Magic in my life!

Before I start reflecting on this part of what I am writing I think I want to go back to waking up at sunrise this morning from a deep and nurturing sleep and feeling a sensation of sadness wash over me.

I feel vulnerable sharing this because I wrote about sadness in another blog post. I see how I want to clarify “I am really a very happy person!” And then perhaps put a smiley face after that sentence. And I also love emojis because at least then whoever is reading this can interpret a sort of feeling within my words.Then I think each of you have your own interpretation of my words and emojis anyway because it’s all based on your individual life experiences. It’s a wonder that any of us can connect and communicate with all the individual worlds colliding and living simultaneously in every moment.

Just another thought to ponder at another time because I am now on a mission to understand my sad feelings! Transparency at work!

Yes, I woke up feeling a sense of sadness again today?

This is not a new feeling for me. This is something that I feel off and on and have now decided to share it. Do I feel unhappy, regret, sorrow which are definitions and meanings attached to that word? My first response is NO! I am a happy, vibrant and love life kind of person. And all of that is true and yet I woke up with a sense of sadness again? It seems that there is a disparity between these two feelings. They are at the opposite ends of the spectrum!

YES, this is at the HEART of this current exploration.

SADNESS VS HAPPINESS!
or is it
HAPPINESS VS SADNESS?
or is it
SADNESS or HAPPINESS?
or
HAPPINESS and SADNESS!

I am pondering this?
Why does it have to be one or the other?
Why can’t I feel a bit of sadness mixed in with the joy of all that my life is offering me?
Why do I need to put a label on these feelings?
Why can’t I just know that I woke up feeling some sadness and then it morphed into a joyous sensation in the next moment.

We think we KNOW the meaning of sadness or happiness because it is an intellectual description that immediately rises inside our minds. We want to define and understand these sensations because in some way we can then feel “safe or settled” in the intellectual concept of the words and their meanings.

This exploration is about the intellectual ideas vs the feeling sense in the present moment, I think we are normally doing things out of habit or perceived and conditioned instincts. The blog post is about opening up an emotional exploration of what might be thought of as benign words that carry so much weight and meaning inside each of us.

Sadness or Happiness they each have a prescribed meaning and a description that seems to satisfy our intellect. OK, you might say, I know what sadness means so therefore I now know what I am feeling? Or I know what I intellectually think about happiness so therefore I can now proceed in my happiness.

I am looking to poke at myself and each of you to help us individually and collectively delve deeper into these words and the feelings behind them.

Not just a rote statement of “I am sad and I am happy.”
To do that keeps us skimming along the surface of our lives!

I much prefer deep diving into what makes me do the things I do!
I want to get to the depth and Heart of what I am doing and feeling.

We have to be curious and desirous to witness our words in order to deeply know our selves.

My intention is to PEEK YOUR CURIOSITY to delve deeper into your behaviors.

There is more to come as I unravel and explore this question deeper within myself.

My passion is to help you utilize these questions in order to examine and reveal the complexity of your individuality.  I believe Witnessing without judgement or critical voice is the only way to discover the truth of how we feel about ourselves. Hopefully, this will lead to more Self Love and richer connections with others. 

Once we realize the extraordinary power we have to compose our lives, we’ll move from passive, conditioned thinking to being co-creators of our fate. ~Jason Silva