I noticed that I have intentionally not been writing this blog lately because I have been in my critical voice phase. There are so many blogs and so many people writing that: “why should I write too”? This is the critical voice speaking. So it took hold of me and stopped me from sharing my life. Well, who did I actually stop sharing my life with? ME! I could say YOU, whoever chooses to read this. However, that thought can keep me in the outside or external place. I want to stay connected to myself and say: “I stopped writing and that kept me away from me.” It kept me away from sharing my deepest desires and thoughts from myself. But again…who am I actually sharing these thoughts with anyway? ME! Yes, I am writing them here. And when I check to see the stats on this account it had been continually going up in views-I feel excited. When I ask my friends, “Have you read my blog lately” and they say no. I feel another wave of excitement because I think –Who in the world is actually reading this? At first, I felt a sadness that not many of my friends were reading this and then the bigger and more expanded thought was …I love this. People that I don’t even know around the world are actually tapping into something that I am saying/thinking. How incredible is that!
That is when I STOPPED writing! I got scared and intimidated by that thought. So I shut myself down and stopped writing for a few weeks. But I never really stopped my thoughts, feelings and that internal voice saying:
-Now you have to write something that’s interesting.
-Something that others can relate to.
-Something with style and something that will capture other peoples interest.
And I stopped writing ALL-TOGETHER–Because I really didn’t know what that was.
How could I ever know what someone else is interested in or what rings their bells – so to speak. I can’t! As a child I became hyper-vigilant trying to figure out what my mother or father was thinking or what they needed or wanted from me. It was a survival tactic to try and keep myself safe (out of harms way) It never really worked too well.
As an adult, I continue to cultivate a way of being that is called “transparency.” It takes a depth of vulnerability to be in my truth and state what it is that I want or need in each moment. I find that this way of being keeps me connected to myself in my fullness and mostly in clarity of my needs and desires. Yes, at times, it is scary to reveal myself in my truth and be vulnerable revealing my desires and decisions. However, I am so happy when I step back from something that felt hard to reveal and clearly look at myself and say: “Bravo–that took courage and I am so proud of myself for loving myself with everything that I have in that moment.” It is not about others meeting me or acknowledging my writing or my transparency. It is about me being in the fullness of my life, thoughts, feelings and desires. Showing up for myself and loving myself enough to say…this is who I am! I am saying that to ME. My wish is that you say that for YOU! This is who YOU are. And each of us is unique to ourselves in our beauty, foibles, idiosyncrasies, humanness.
Love yourself AND-—
Dance like nobody’s watching
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Sing like no one is listening
Live like it’s heaven on earth
And my added line is: Write like no one else is Reading this!
I have been offering Wellness Coaching services for over 20 years. I am always honored and thrilled to work with people who are willing and desirous of connecting to their deeper selves. My work caters to those that have already done transformational work and are ready to go to another level of self-discovery.
I invite you to contact me at Diane@dianedivone.com to set up your free 15 Minute Introductory Session.
