I was Angry today!

I am sharing this story because it is mundane and I think also rich in ordinary everyday experiences. 

Today I had an appointment to have my teeth cleaned with a new dentist. I made this appointment about a month ago and was looking forward to this. 

This might seem strange but I really enjoy having my teeth cleaned. I think of it as having my teeth massaged about 3 times a year.

For the last few years I have been going to a wonderful dentist in Colorado, where I have a summer home and no longer have a dentist in NY. Last month my front tooth cracked and I needed to find a dentist quick. LONG story but I was referred to a new dentist. She is wonderful and I was happy with the office, staff and level of care she showed me. 

I decided to make an appointment with her office to have my teeth cleaned. I arrived for my scheduled appointment ready for my teeth massage and was told that I couldn’t have them cleaned until I had X-Rays of my entire mouth and also an examination by another dentist because the dentist that created a new tooth for me was on vacation. 

I sat in that chair a bit stunned and also disappointed. I replied when the hygienist shared this new information with me-

1-I would have liked to have been apprised of your policy a month ago when I made this appointment

2-I am fine with signing a waiver and having my teeth cleaned today

3-I am not prepared to pay for another examination and full X-Rays

She then told me that I had to see the dentist. The White Coat Syndrome

Maybe I am cynical around doctors? That is a story for another time. But this dentist arrived and repeated what the hygienist told me and said I cannot sign a waiver. They cannot clean my teeth unless I follow their rules/protocol. 

Then he proceeded to tell me that I must have periodontal disease if I am having my teeth cleaned that many times a year. 

I want to back up and share what was happening in my body while all this was going on. When the hygienist advised me that I could not have my teeth cleaned I started sweating. Then I noticed that my body starting shaking a bit. Not visibly but it was a subtle shake. I was in contact with all of this and taking notice that I was starting to have a feeling response to all that was taking place. I immediately noticed that I was starting to get agitated and angry while they were continuing to tell me what I needed to do. 

I said that I understood their protocol and also felt disappointed and angry that no-one ever gave me a courtesy call to let me know their procedures. Then I said, and I do not appreciate it that you are telling me what disease I must have because I choose to have my teeth cleaned 3 times a year. I do not have periodontal disease and these cleanings are a part of my wellness program. 

And there it is! MY WELLNESS PROGRAM! 

This is what this post is all about. My body, my health, my wellness! 

I felt bullied and in some respects violated by their rules. protocols and projections of who I am and how I take care of MY body! 

The dentist stood in the doorway while the hygienist stood next to him waiting for me to say Yes… of course … thank you so much for not telling me about your procedures and now allowing me to pay you an extra $200-400 for this procedure that I do not want. I handed him the bib that was already around my neck and said Thanks but this doesn’t work for me. This was all done cordially and with fake smiles. 

The point of this story is ~I was Angry! 

My anger was around the absolute disregard I felt and experienced in this situation. I am a healthy woman who knows her body well.  I do not rely on others to tell me what is wrong with me. I rely on myself, my internal guidance system that shows me what I need and how to get that need met. 

This depth of Knowing myself has taken me years to cultivate, understand and trust. I am not opposed to “following the rules” as long as I know them beforehand and can collaborate on my needs. The bullying part for me is about the idea that because they said this is what “has to happen” then I was supposed to follow their lead. Again, it is not about pushing against this. It is about the subtle intimidation that was being projected on to me. I knew this because my body was responding to the environment and circumstances. 

Some points to connect to your emotional body:

~This post is to vent and allow the anger to move through me appropriately and with ease and deliberate intention of feeling better.  

~You can do this in other ways that feel good to you. Yes, anger can feel good when it is done with conscious connection and awareness. 

~I am aware that I am releasing this frustration with this writing. 

~As I am writing this I can feel my body start to relax and release . This is my indication that it’s a present moment anger. It doesn’t have too much charge to it so it is not steeped in history or past story around something else. 

Thanks for being a part of this everyday life experience. 

We each have so many of these situations, experiences, events all the time. Maybe the next time something “mundane” happens you will be able to track you body sensations and see what wants to be said, done or expressed when your body starts talking to you. The key is ~Are you Listening?