Picture: Me on a glacier in Iceland before a white out encased me in nothingness. Quite awe-inspiring!
“Thinking: the talking of the soul with itself.” ~Plato
I recently read a post that was written by a woman I greatly admire. I was taken aback by the post because it talked about not waiting until you have the inspiration to do something but to forge ahead and just do it. Whatever “it” might be. I was upset by this thought and felt a pang deep within my being.
I noticed I wanted to respond to her about this type of thinking and then I stopped myself. I also noticed that I didn’t want to push against her beliefs. I did not want to confront or even object to her idea. Where did this “fear” of voicing my words and my own thoughts about her beliefs come from? Or a more accurate way of saying this is: “Where did I learn to stop my voice and not express myself to another woman?” I am curious about this.
My first thought, which is always where I go ~ “What in my history dictated that I did not or could not have a voice or difference of opinion without it being a fight or it being aggressive or confrontational?” Of course I know that this was birthed in my family home while growing up. There was actually no room or even a question that I would have an opinion. Then there was the Catholic schools that I attended that really didn’t give me the tools or encourage me to find my voice nor did they have the desire to have me use my individuated voice. So here I am many years later having a difference of opinion while reading a post from someone that I barely know but greatly admire and I noticed a fear rise inside of me.
Have you ever had this happen? Have you ever noticed that you stop yourself from saying things because you feel afraid of being seen as “too much” or that you might be confronted or that you might be considered confrontational, opinionated? There are so many ways that we stop ourselves and I am finding it hard to even begin listing them.
However, I want to invite you to start thinking about this and then the possibility of sharing what stops you from finding and sharing your voice around something that you might disagree with or even something that you like and find yourself not expressing that as well.
Now back to being inspired! I have created a way of living where I have taught myself to NOT take an action step before I know what I am feeling. I actually know how to “shoot from the hip” as the saying goes. I spent a lot of my life doing just that and I did it really well and had a lot of fun while doing it. It has only been the last 20 years that I have chosen to not act before I know how and what I feel. I now choose to move from a place of inspiration (inspired action) and not take a step forward until I am in total alignment with my thoughts and feeling sensations.
I do understand what the other woman was writing about. I get it. I relate to it and I also disagree with it from my now point of view. When we move from uninspired action we will get results! I know because as I said I have lived a lot of years doing just that. However, the results can be murky and challenging and can also be rewarding and fun. We are in motion and that always seems as if we are moving towards our “goals, desires and destination.” I also see that it can create a lot of muck while moving without truly sitting inside of oneself to see where the moving is coming from. And this is not black and white or right or wrong. This is a difference of opinion, a different way of thinking and creating life.
Murky and movement are very big ways to stir the pot of excitement and activity. It can be considered chaotic and hectic and alive, exhilarating, stirring, thrilling and so many other ways of experiencing a non inspired or inspired action. If I move from a place of uncertainty than I have experienced the outcome to be pretty much uncertain. And that unknown can also be exciting, exhilarating, chaotic, thrilling and murky. It just depends on what you are going for. Excitement, clarity, control, murky? It really doesn’t matter if you are inspired or shooting from the hip.
The point of this post is to bring a deeper level of attention to your choices. Whatever the outcome is. It is in the connection from the beginning that creates the motivation to move in the first place. I like to think and live from a place of everything being fun and enlivening.
We can choose to sit back and feel into what it is we are wanting.
We can choose to move forward on an impulse.
We can be steadfast in our movements and thinking and make well informed decisions.
We can choose to watch, observe and then move on an impulse after we observe.
There is no correct way to live your life. This post is about opening up to a dialogue within yourself to see why and how you are choosing to move in the mundane and big decisions in life.
Big question? Or maybe not? Who knows? My point is to be in complete connection with the choices I am making. Something to think about!
The magic after the white out.
