“Wherever you go there you are.” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn
You are either all in or you are not! This is my philosophy for living!
My body, my experience! Living in this body and being fully connected to all of me at times doesn’t feel so good. Why is that? Because sometimes I find it challenging to be in physical form! And that only happens when I am separated from my emotions, feelings which is my emotional body or my heart-center.
“People are out of touch with their emotions most of the time because we have been taught to live in our heads.”
This happens because we are living in a world that wants us to be disconnected from our emotional body. We are in a daily overload of information and stimulation.
I have been noticing that it is becoming somewhat fashionable to become Emotionally Intelligent. It’s a new buzzword and there are ways of “doing this.” But to truly live in your body and be fully connected to your emotions is not something that can actually be learned in a book. It must be lived and felt and embodied. And living it is fucking hard at times!
Even in the ‘fashionable sense” of “learning” to be emotional there is only so much emotion that will be allowed or tolerated. Screaming or hitting something in a container of safety is still something that people frown upon. Or possibly it’s acceptable if you go to an “anger room” where it is set up for you to smash things and make a game out of it where afterwards you can go out have a beer or some expensive cocktail and talk about how much fun that was as your night out. A new experience! So for $45 or $75 you can go into a room and smash things for 15 minutes. As long as we make anger gimmicky it is acceptable and fun.
I am happy that people are actually being able to go somewhere and release their pent-up frustrations. However, I have been embodying this type of work for 45 years and I am pretty much a master in the field of helping people release pent-up frustrations and i’ve found that when this is not put in a container of entertainment it doesn’t seem as appealing to the masses.
Why is that? It then becomes too real. It is no longer a 15 minute release. It is no longer a game or a novelty or a night out to do something different. This shit is real! Then what? You will be going back to your life with all the same things that you went into that anger room for 15 minutes realizing that this anger is NOT a game.
Again, I want to reiterate. I think these rooms are great and fun and a way to help people have the visceral experience of hitting things and break things and walk away with a sense of relief and ease and relaxation. I say this with many years of experience doing just that.
Now what I would like to bring into consciousness is that this can be done everyday or every time you start feeling frustrated or repressed. You just don’t know how to do it. Mainly, to do this properly and with a level of safety and support is something that needs to be modeled and demonstrated and learned. And there are simple ways to begin now.
I could call this Anger Management but I won’t. Why you might ask?
BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE ALREADY TRYING TO MANAGE THEIR UNEXPRESSED FRUSTRATIONS ANNOYANCES DISAPPOINTMENTS AND ANGER AND REALLY DON’T HAVE A CLUE HOW TO DO THAT.
Which ultimately causes more frustrations and disconnect!
So my suggestion is to learn about APPROPRIATE ANGER RELEASE~
Set something up for yourself by acknowledging that you are frustrated, angry, etc. Say it out loud or to yourself. The key thing here is to feel safe. Then if you feel safe and comfortable start hitting something soft with closed fists: ex: pillows, a piece of soft furniture cushions, bed and allow yourself to breath into each directed punch and know that you are releasing held-back emotions/feelings that you have probably been keeping inside of your body.
I am NOT kidding. Just pound away on the soft surface and breathe and yell and breathe and feel into the energy that is being expended by this release. Talk out loud! Say things that you have been keeping inside!
By doing this you will release and expend a lot of energy. Not doing something like this creates inappropriate expressions of anger and frustration which could lead to yelling at someone or even hitting someone or something. All of those expressions of frustration and anger are INAPPROPRIATE! However, for most people NO ONE ever taught us how to be in the dynamic energy of frustration and anger in an appropriate way. Anger can be life-giving and empowering when approached with clarity and understanding and NOT directed towards someone or internalizing it.
For details or if you want more information about anger and how to connect to it please contact me directly.
