Occupation vs. Vocation

This question rose inside of me this morning while reflecting on certain things that have recently been happening in my life.  Is my work my occupation or my vocation?

I love what I do! No I don’t just love it — I live for what I do! And that doesn’t even accurately describe or touch the depth of feelings that I have for my life’s path and the  passion that I feel for it. I love that people come to me and feel safe in sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings. I am honored and blessed to be able to hold a sacred space for each person who has the desire and courage to reveal themselves to me and ultimately to themselves.

This is why I asked myself that question. Is this my career, my occupation or is this really a vocation?

Vocation conjures up memories of St. Elizabeth’s grammar school. This is the Catholic School I attended in Ozone Park, NY. There were a few nuns that I adored.  I remember being in 8th grade when a few of us were starting “our periods.”  One girl said she was going to ask Sister Colleen for a sanitary napkin. I was shocked! I said to her-” what do you mean you are going to ask HER”.  I couldn’t comprehend that a nun bled! They weren’t women to me-they were NUNS. I didn’t understand that these people, the nuns, were actually women who bled. They were like saints to me, they were beyond human. Weren’t they different? After all they were married to GOD!  So that meant they didn’t have the same bodies that all the other girls, including myself, were starting to develop.  OH MY — as I laugh (from present moment) and also feel sad (from the memory) of all the confusion I had swirling around in my young head/mind and body. Even as I write this I find it hard to believe that I actually believed this.

At this point I ask myself “what does all of this have to do with occupation vs. vocation”. I am unraveling this as I figure it out by telling this story. I feel a sadness, as well as, elation for the child inside of me that was so naive . But mostly I feel a deep love for my innocence.

OK, back to the present moment of what I do “for a living.”  Did the nuns do “being a nun” for a living? Or were they just nuns. I don’t really know or understand what they were doing but I know the impact they made on my life. At times, it was very scary and harsh and other times loving and nurturing. So when I think of vocation I think of nuns and their dedication to God. At least, for me, that is what is seemed to be.

Vocation had a “holy or religious” connotation to me. But the more I write about the word and the feelings that I have about my life path I am absolutely certain that what I do is a vocation and not occupation.

I am asking myself “why am I talking about nuns, vocation and occupation”.  Am I comparing myself to a nun? NEVER! NOT! EVER! It’s in the feeling sense of what they presented to me. Their dedication and seemingly love of what they did and how they did it that made a deep impact on my life.

I don’t just do therapy for a living, like a nun, who just didn’t do “being a nun for a living”.  I live the therapy in every minute of my own existence. I remain curious and hungry to understand what makes me tick. What makes me feel a certain way about mostly everything that comes before me.

I have an insatiable appetite to know what people are feeling and thinking. I want to understand and support anyone who is willing to share their inner world with me. I find nothing more satisfying than to hear someone say: “This is what I am feeling right now”!  That is music to my heart!

Just like these pictures I took on my last trip to Colorado:

Sunrise in Cotopaxi, CO

Aspen Forest, Salida, CO