Another writing from
Musings on a Mountain
I never get tired of walking on this land and breathing in the majesty of this landscape. It has been 20 years since I first stepped foot in the state of Colorado. It is 18 years since I own this property. More accurately “this property and land own me!” It took my breath away the first time I walked on this land and it hasn’t stopped breathing life into me since. I can write endlessly about this and maybe I will. So read more if you are desiring to fall in love with mountains, boulders, fresh air, absolute silence, pine trees moving ever so gracefully in a warm summer wind. And then there’s the resistance!
The picture was taken from the top of a boulder that sits practically in front of my door. Well, actually about 30 feet in front of my door. I am told that the people who originally built the cabin used dynamite to blast part of the boulder so they could situate the house where it stands today overlooking this incredible vista.
It is the January 2000 and I am looking at a gutted out cabin with no water, one line for electricity, no bathroom. There wasn’t anything except a roof and walls. I couldn’t even believe that I was contemplating buying the house. I was uncomfortable and also excited and scared and unsure. I think I was in a trance state when I signed the contract. You know the feeling when you first fall in love and you’re all giddy and anything is possible. There are so many parts to this story and each part is a chapter on how this house morphed into the home it is today. It took me 12 years to complete it and it’s now a beautiful gateway into quieting my mind and a get away where I can just be. It was truly a labor of love and something that I never could have imagined when I signed those papers and said~ Yes!
Pretty much like relationships and life in general.
We never know what the future holds or what we are signing up for.
We might think we are so wise and intuitive and know exactly what will happen or we plan and think the plan is really accurate. HA! That is what I say to thinking that I might know what the next moment will bring.
I have come to understand that the more I let go of what I think might be and just let what is unfold then I can be more in connection and ease with what actually shows up.
Listen! Observe! Remain Silent! Be Curious!
It is the RESISTANCE to what feels and seems unsettling that creates the discomfort. Then the uncomfortable sensations may propel us to move towards something just to get ourselves out of the discomfort.
I have found that being in contact with this discomfort through awareness and with acceptance I can then move beyond whatever is the sticking point towards clarity and expansion. Because I was in contact with that resistance 20 years ago I created the opportunity to move with the resistance. I listened to my “logical” mind while still being in some fear and also wonder and curiosity about the decision I was making. And ultimately I bought the house while still being scared and excited.
Try it… When you are rubbing up against yourself (resistance) try becoming aware of the friction and tension that you might be holding in your body.
Is your relationship with it different?
Does it feel softer?
Does it go away?
Do you feel more agitated? More empowered? More available to yourself?
Do you have more clarity? More resistance?
This is an ongoing process…. We do not get things done. We are always in the practice of living, noticing and becoming more aware of ourselves. If we choose!
