As the Rolling Stones song goes….”but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need”.
The older I get the more I know this to be true. I think I want something and then –BAM–it doesn’t show up and I feel: Disappointed, Sad, Confused, Uncomfortable and Unhappy. Then I become Curious about all these feelings and that leads me to the sensation of Desiring. I read a poem this morning by Danielle LaPorte (www.daniellelaporte.com) The Universe always surprises, delights, inspires and mostly provides me with clues to a deeper understanding of myself. As the Rolling Stones song goes….”but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need”.
Desire enchants you to the woods
and has you push through the muck
with the patience of a Lotus.
Come closer.
Search everywhere for your keys.
And then she makes you drive all night, desire,
With no map or insurance.
Come closer.
Pull over and find a pen,
write in blood if you must,
these two words:
Want.
Now.
And then
You hold her gaze for
the next clue about how to have all of her
and it’s the same clue sounding different every time
Come closer.
I love this poem! It was exactly what I have been feeling and exactly what I am feeling today. Desirous…but for what or who or is the proper phrasing whom? Not sure—
Nevertheless, I am desiring something. And when I have this feeling I know from experience to STOP! Slow down! Ponder– Which is my way of reflecting. It’s as simple and as complex as that. There is nothing to do but be in the experience of what I think I want and the possibility of what I think I might need. And just be in the unknown and uncomfortable place (at this time) of WHAT IS! The desire for something other than What is! The desire for something that I think might make or help me to feel “better”. HMMM.. feel better than what I am actually feeling?
There are teachings that state that I have the ability to move through these sensations/thoughts by the power of my own mind. And I absolutely know this to be true. I have done this on many occasions. But perhaps this time I just feel like staying in this unknown desirous place for a little while longer. Although at this point as Danielle states -“write in blood if you must”–( I am not to the perilous point of writing in my own blood- although that conjures up memories of the drama of my 13 year old self thinking of Romeo and Juliet’s love story). I know I digressed but that thought/feeling brought a warm and joyfully silly feeling to my mind and mostly to my heart.
Back to present moment- I want something NOW! And THAT is my indication that I might want to stop and smell the roses (so to speak)– I can literally do this because of my beautiful rose bush on my front lawn. So I think that is what I will do right now. Smell the deliciousness of these flowers and know that my desires are important and they are the barometer of something else wanted in my life. Even though I am not quite sure (at this moment in time) what that might be. I will give myself the time and space to sit in the uncomfortable place of knowing I want something else in my life. How exciting is this! The anticipation of something else wanted! Off to smell the roses– |
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